The Magic of Christmas
by GoofyGal2008
Summary: Abby makes it her mission to learn the real reason that Brody hates Christmas, and is taken aback by what that knowledge helps her realize about her own feelings.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Is everyone else totally depressed to find out that Lifetime's cancelled this show? Now we'll never get an end to that cliffhanger! In my head, it's definitely Brody on the other side of that door...and in that spirit, here is the start of my 'Against the Wall' Christmas story!

(As a side note, I know I still owe you all an epilogue for 'Deja Vu All Over Again'...it is coming, I promise! It took a few twists and turns I hadn't expected, but it should be up sometime this week.)

* * *

><p><em>It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas…<em>

Abby Kowalski sang softly to herself as she hurried down the street, narrowly dodging an errant snowball flung from a nearby park. This had always been one of her favorite times of year to be in the city. The storefront displays, the wreaths hanging from the lampposts, the tiny twinkling lights that went up all over town - it was like someone sprinkled a little magic over the city for a few weeks out of the year.

Hurrying up the front walk, she brushed a patch of snow off the sleeve of her jacket and paused in front of the house, shaking her head slightly at the abundance of lights covering almost every square inch of the facade.

Stepping inside the front door, she shrugged off her jacket and shut the front door behind herself.

"You're late."

Abby smiled as she hung up her jacket and turned to face her partner. "Yeah, well, not my fault I couldn't find the place. You really ought to consider putting a few more lights on out there. I'm not sure they can see you from outer space yet."

Lina Flores laughed and shook her head. "Not my fault. The boys do the lights. I stay inside and pretend not to know what they're going to do to my electric bill."

"Well, you've only got to keep them up another two days and then Christmas will be over."

"Ugh. Don't remind me how close it is. I'm not even close to done with my shopping yet. You done?"

"Almost."

"Well, if the sticking point's me, don't worry about it. I'm not picky."

Abby laughed. "I've had your present for weeks, Lina. No, I've got my mom, my dad, my brothers, all the kids…the only one left on my list is Brody."

"Ah." Lina nodded knowingly. "The boyfriend gift. Always tricky, especially the first time. Get him something too nice, he might read too much into it…but don't get him something nice enough and he'll think you're still not serious about this new relationship of yours."

Abby groaned as she followed Lina into the living room and collapsed into an armchair. "This is why I don't do relationships. They're more trouble than they're worth."

"You don't mean that."

"I'm not so sure about that."

Lina sighed. "Alright, we've got about twenty minutes until Carla wakes up from her afternoon nap. Tell me what's going on."

Abby hesitated for a moment. "He told me he loves me."

"That's a good thing, Abby."

"I know, I know. It's just, I know he wants me to say it back, and I don't want to hurt him. I just…I need more time. Can't it be enough that I picked him?"

Lina shook her head. "Maybe for a few weeks, but it's been almost four months. Do you love him?"

"I…I care about him," Abby said. "I like him a lot. But love…love's a big word, Lina. Love implies a future…and a future implies all sorts of big steps that I'm not ready for."

"Well, you'd better figure it out soon," Lina cautioned. "My maternity leave's up right after the new year, and I am _not_ going to spend another three months listening to you go back and forth and back and forth twenty gazillion times. I did that once, I don't need to do it again."

* * *

><p>"I need your help."<p>

Richie glanced up as Abby walked into his apartment that evening. "Well, yeah. I've been telling you that for years."

Abby rolled her eyes. "No, I'm serious, Richie. I still don't have a Christmas present for Brody, and tomorrow's Christmas Eve. What do I get him?"

"Nothing."

"Richie…"

Richie threw up his hands defensively. "No, I'm serious. Don't get him a present. Brody hates Christmas."

"Don't be ridiculous, Richie, nobody _hates_ Christmas. What do I get him?"

"I'm not kidding, Abby," Richie said. "John Brody does not do Christmas. Don't even try, it won't end well."

"But it's Christmas," Abby protested. "And it's our first Christmas as a couple. I can't just not get him anything."

"Did you invite him to Mom and Dad's?"

"I was thinking about it. I didn't want to overstep if he's got his own family stuff planned."

"He doesn't."

"How do you know?"

Richie sighed. "Abby, Brody works on Christmas every year. He volunteers for the shift. I've invited him to our family Christmas every year since we were first partnered up, but he won't come."

Abby frowned. "Well, maybe he's just never had a real Christmas. I could…"

"Abby, I'm serious. Just leave the subject alone. Pretend it's not even Christmas."

"You're trying to get me in trouble, aren't you? You're trying to cause problems between us with this Christmas thing. God, I thought you were over this, Richie. Brody and I are a couple and you just have to accept that."

"I do, Abby. That's not what this is about."

Abby shook her head and stood up quickly. "No one hates Christmas if they understand what Christmas can be," Abby insisted. "If you're serious and Brody really doesn't get it, then I'll just have to help him understand Christmas."

"Abby…"

Abby shook her head and hugged him briefly before hurrying toward the door. "I've got a lot to do," she said quickly. "See you at Mass tomorrow night."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **I am so sorry it's taken so long to get this posted! I was in a car accident last week, and typing has been very painful (physically) until just the past day or two. So I apologize to those who were waiting for this or for an update to my other stories. A five car accident was definitely not in my plans!

This chapter is a little shorter than I'd planned, but I wanted to get it out now in the hopes that I will have time to post the next chapter before Christmas. I hope you enjoy!

* * *

><p><em>It's the most wonderful time of the year…la de dah de de dah la de dah de de dah…and be of good cheer…<em>

Abby grinned as she hung an ornament on the knee-high tree she'd set up on Brody's coffee table and took a step back. "Almost," she muttered, reaching into the brown paper bag she'd brought and rummaging for another ornament. "There we are."

Taking two steps back, Abby put her hands on her hips and looked around the apartment. By the time she'd gone back to her place to get the decorations she'd need and then stopped at the Christmas tree seller down the block, she'd known she wouldn't have much time in the apartment before Brody came home from his shift. Still, she thought she'd done a pretty good job. Tiny white lights twinkled as they hung from push pins she'd stuck in the walls, a fresh wreath hung over the couch, and a perfect miniature Christmas tree sat on the coffee table, missing only the star she planned for them to place on it together.

"Nobody hates Christmas," she repeated with a satisfied smile. Hearing a key in the lock, she turned around expectantly and waited nervously as Brody stepped into his apartment and looked around.

"What the hell?" he muttered in shock, paling as he took in the Christmas decorations.

"Surprise!" Abby said with a grin. "Merry Christmas."

Abby frowned when Brody didn't respond. She noticed that he seemed to have lost all color in his face and his expression had gone blank as he continued to look around.

"I just thought the place could use a little Christmas spirit," she said quickly. "I figured you probably hadn't had time to decorate, so…"

"I don't celebrate Christmas," Brody said quietly, a sharp edge to his voice. "Take it down."

"What do you mean, you don't celebrate Christmas?" Abby asked in confusion.

"I don't celebrate Christmas," Brody repeated impatiently, walking past Abby to set his things down on his bed.

"Well, that's just ridiculous. Have you ever had a real Christmas?"

Brody gritted his teeth and took a deep breath. "We've never talked about this, so I'm trying very hard not to yell at you right now, Abby. Let me make this very clear…I don't want decorations in my apartment. I don't want to be reminded that it's Christmas. I don't do Christmas trees or lights or wreaths. If I could, I'd skip the entire month of December. Got it?"

Abby frowned. "No, I don't get it. It's Christmas, Brody. It's a time to be happy and to celebrate and to have fun. I mean, come on, it's Christmas!"

"So you've said. And as I've said, I hate Christmas, so get this stuff out of here."

"No." Abby shook her head defiantly. "Come on, you can't just say something like that and expect me to accept it. I'm your girlfriend, the least you can do is give me an explanation. Why do you hate Christmas? Did your parents forget to buy presents one year when you were a kid?"

"Leave my parents out of this," Brody snapped angrily, causing Abby to take a step back in shock. "I don't celebrate Christmas, and I don't have to justify that to you or to anyone else. So take your decorations and get them out of here. _Now_."

"No." Abby shook her head as she stared at him, tears in her eyes. "I was just trying to do something nice for you. There's no need to bite my head off for it. You want this stuff out of here? Get rid of it yourself."

Abby quickly grabbed her purse and turned her back on him, slamming the door behind her as she hurried out of his apartment. She made it all the way down the hall before she felt the tears start to stream down her face.


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh come on, it can't have been _that_ bad."

Abby sighed, hitting the speaker button and setting her phone on her bathroom counter as she braced her hands on the edge of the counter and stared at herself in the mirror.

"Mackie, you weren't there," Abby said. "I thought he was going to snap the tree in half."

"Well, this is Brody we're talking about. You know he'll be on your doorstep in a few days with a box of chocolates and a big apology."

"I don't know about that. I just can't get the look on his face out of mind. I was up all last night thinking about it. He was pissed, yeah, but there was something more…something I can't quite put my finger on. To be honest, it kind of scared me, Mackie."

"I wish I were there right now," Mackie said. "You're still going to your parents' tonight, right?"

Abby groaned and nodded as she looked at her blotchy cheeks and bloodshot eyes and reached for her makeup bag. "Yeah. I'm supposed to be there in an hour to help my mom with Christmas Eve dinner."

"Use the heavy concealer," Mackie advised.

Abby paused with her hand in her makeup bag. "You can't even see me, how do you know I need heavy concealer?"

Mackie laughed. "I can hear it in your voice, Abby. You sound like you're going to burst into tears at any moment. If you sound that bad the day after a fight, chances are good that you look like hell. Just make sure you clean up before heading out, because if your brothers see you like that, it's lights-out for Brody."

"I know." Abby sighed and shook her head. "Listen, I've got to go. Say hi to your mom and stepdad for me, okay?"

"Will do. Take care of yourself, sweetie."

Abby turned off the phone and pushed it to the side of the counter. After quickly grabbing a hair tie and pulling her hair back into a loose bun, she studied her appearance in the mirror for a moment before reaching for the makeup bag and pulling out her foundation.

A few minutes later, she set the bottle down and frowned as she looked into the mirror again. "There's not enough makeup in the world for this," she muttered to herself in disgust. Tossing the foundation back into the bag, she sighed and reached for a heavier concealer stick, her hands freezing in the bag at the sound of a knock on her apartment door. She frowned and glanced at the clock. Mackie was in New York with her family, and by now her brothers and their families were already on their way to their parents' house. Shaking her head, she set down the makeup bag and walked across her apartment to the door. Hesitating for a moment, she pulled it open and took a step backward in surprise.

"Brody?" Abby stared in surprise at the sight of him standing in her hallway dressed in dark slacks and a dark dress shirt, his coat draped over his arm and a bouquet of red rose in his hand.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, extending the bouquet to Abby. "I shouldn't have yelled at you yesterday. You were just trying to do something nice, and it wasn't fair of me to go off on you like that. You didn't know."

Abby's hands were shaking as she took the bouquet and held it up to smell the roses. She'd seen real anger and pain in his eyes because of her actions the day before, so she hadn't been prepared for him apologize this quickly - if at all, really. She was slightly stunned that he was even standing there in front of her so soon after the fight.

"Thank you," she said, unsure how else to respond.

"Do you, uh…do you really want to know why I don't celebrate Christmas?" Brody asked hesitantly.

Abby nodded. "I'm no expert on these things, but I'm pretty sure this relationship thing involves sharing things like that."

Brody nodded, his gaze traveling up and down Abby's outfit, settling on her high-heeled boots.

"You'll need different shoes," he said, his voice suddenly nearly devoid of emotion. "Flats. Sneakers, if you've got them handy. It's been snowing, so it might be a little muddy. Oh, and a heavy coat. It's below freezing out there."

"Where are we going?" Abby asked curiously, already halfway to her closet in search of more suitable shoes.

"Arlington Heights."

Abby frowned as she pulled a pair of sneakers from her closet. "Brody, that's like an hour's drive from here."

"I can make the drive in forty-two minutes flat if there's no traffic or ice on the roads."

Abby looked up from tying her shoes and shot him a skeptical look. "Forty-two minutes?"

Brody shrugged. "I've made that drive at least twice a year, every year since I was ten. I could probably do it in my sleep if I had to." He sighed and looked around the room. "You ready to go?"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** So sorry for the delay! I hope everyone had a fabulous Christmas and a very happy New Year's celebration! This chapter is a bit short, but I promise the next one will be back to normal length.

* * *

><p>Abby let out a breath and watched as it steamed up the window in the car as Brody pulled the car off of the highway and the small suburban town came into view. The ride had been almost completely silent and Abby had spent most of it staring out the window at the passing scenery.<p>

She watched as Brody expertly navigated the town, making no less than a dozen turns as they made their way almost to the edge of town. Brody had said he'd made the drive before, and now she had no doubt - she'd spent her entire life in Chicago, but take her more than five or ten miles outside the city and she'd be completely lost.

She looked up as Brody finally pulled the car into a small lot and cut the engine. Abby looked out through the window and frowned when she saw the wrought iron gates in front of them.

"Brody, this is a cemetery."

Brody nodded. "I know," he said solemnly, opening his car door and stepping out. "Don't forget your gloves, the wind's usually pretty bad out here."

Abby stared at him for a moment before nodding, grabbing her gloves from the center console and stepping out of the car. Slipping her arm through Brody's, she silently bit her tongue and resisted the urge to ask him to explain their little trip. Deep down, she wasn't even sure she wanted him to explain - she couldn't think of a single happy reason that someone who hated Christmas would bring her to a cemetery on Christmas Eve to explain himself.

Slowly, they made their way down the freshly plowed path that cut the cemetery in half. Abby held on tightly when they finally stepped off the path and into the loosely packed snow. It was only about a half a foot deep, so she figured at least there wasn't much danger of them tripping over a hidden headstone as they walked.

Finally, they stopped in front of a small marble headstone. Abby glanced nervously over at Brody, who was nearly as pale as the snow on the ground, before taking a deep breath and looking down. The snow around the stone had been freshly cleared and two small wreaths were sitting at the base of the stone, but she barely noticed them as she read the words engraved on the stone.

_Caroline Elizabeth Brody  
><em>_May 2, 1946 - December 25, 1986_

_Joseph Michael Brody  
><em>_December 25, 1986 - December 26, 1986_

Abby felt as though she'd been punched in the gut as she stared at the dates, squeezing Brody's hand gently as they stood there in complete silence. Even without knowing the rest of the story, as her gaze drifted from the stone to Brody's tear-stained face, Abby finally understood where his anger came from - if anyone had a reason to hate Christmas, it was John Brody.


	5. Chapter 5

Abby's hands were shaking that evening as she pulled two mugs from the cabinet in Brody's kitchen and set them on the counter. Neither one of them had spoken much in the half an hour they'd stood in the cemetery, and the ride home had been nearly as quiet. Abby couldn't even bring herself to find a song to combat the silence as she poured hot water into the mugs and tore open the package of hot cocoa mix.

A few minutes later, she set one of the mugs down on the coffee table and carefully wrapped her hand around the other as she tucked her legs underneath her body and settled onto the couch to wait for Brody.

She was taking a sip when Brody walked over from his closet and sat down next to her, setting a small envelope on her lap. Glancing questioningly at him, she leaned forward and set her mug down next to his before leaning back and opening the envelope. Slowly, she pulled out the handful faded photographs inside. Lifting up the first one, she couldn't help the smile that came to her face.

"Is this you?" she asked as she held the picture out to Brody and leaned against his shoulder.

Brody nodded as he wrapped an arm around Abby's shoulder and took the picture from her hands. "That was my first birthday."

Abby grinned as she took back the image of the tiny blonde haired toddler with his face covered in frosting, a beaming red-headed woman crouching next to his high chair. "You were pretty cute."

"What do you mean, _were_?" Brody asked. "I'm still cute."

Abby laughed and pressed herself up slightly to kiss his cheek before picking up the next picture. "Whatever you say. Now, can we talk about this bunny rabbit costume?"

"Hey now, don't knock the rabbit costume," Brody said defensively, taking the Halloween picture from Abby's hand. "My mom made that for my older brother when he was five. I wore a lot of hand-me-downs over the years."

"I guess that was one good thing about being the only girl," Abby observed.

"Well, it was better than having no clothes at all, which would have been the alternative," Brody said. "Dad worked construction, so we weren't exactly living the high life. Paul's dad had a little more money, so he'd get the nice things and then when Paul outgrew them, they'd come to me."

"What do you mean, _his dad_? He's your brother, right?"

"My dad was my mom's second husband. Paul was her son from her first marriage. We have the same mother, but different fathers. There was never really much of a distinction when we were growing up, though. Paul's dad lived in Seattle with his new wife and kids, and Mom had primary custody out here, so it wasn't like he was being shuttled back and forth every weekend or anything."

"Do you have any pictures of him in here?"

"I think so." Brody picked up the stack on Abby's lap and slowly flipped through the pictures before grabbing one of the last ones and handing it to Abby. "Here. That was, uh, probably the last picture we took as a family."

Abby smiled sadly as she ran her hand over the image of a young Brody smiling up at the camera, a tall, red-headed boy standing next to him with an arm on his shoulder and a beaming couple standing behind the two boys.

"How old were you?" she asked softly.

"Ten."

"Wow." Abby sighed and picked up the pictures, setting the stack on the table before settling back next to Brody. "What happened?"

Brody closed his eyes and turned his head away for a moment.

"John…"

"She fell off a step stool. It sounds ridiculous, right? She couldn't have fallen more two or three feet. It's…it's the sort of thing that, I don't know, you get a twisted ankle or a couple of bruises. It's not how people die. It was, uh…it was Christmas Eve. She was putting the angel on top of the tree."

Brody paused and took a long, shaky breath as Abby rested her hand comfortingly on his chest.

"She was fine. She got up, she was talking, she put me to bed…she was _fine_ that night. When I went to bed, she was fine, and then the next thing I knew, it was three or four in the morning and there were all these sirens and people in the house. She, uh, had a seizure in the middle of the night. Dad called 911. I think it was around noon that the doctors told us she wasn't going to wake up. They thought, maybe they could keep her alive on a ventilator for a while…for the baby, to give him some more time. Her heart started giving out a couple hours later, so they went in to deliver baby. She died on the table and the baby…they didn't get to him in time. They kept him breathing on a ventilator overnight, but his brain…it had been without oxygen for too long."

Abby wiped a tear from her eye and stared in him in disbelief. "Oh Brody…I wish I knew what to say."

Brody shook his head and sighed. "There isn't anything…it doesn't go away, Abby. This sort of pain, there's nothing that makes it better."

"So what do you do?"

Brody shrugged. "It depends. My brother got married and threw himself into his new family. My dad drank until he couldn't even remember his own name, let alone Mom's. And I just find it easier to get through this time of year if I pretend there never was a time when it was happy."

Abby grimaced at the thought. "How's that working for you?"

"It's the best I can do, Abby." Brody took a shaky breath. "This time of year, I can't look anywhere without seeing something that reminds me of that day. I have nightmares where I see her falling, I see the baby in the NICU, my dad crying…those are my Christmas memories, Abby."

"Have you ever tried making new ones?"

Brody shook his head. "My brother used to try to get me to come spend Christmas with his family, but it never felt right…celebrating just doesn't feel right."

"Don't you think your mom would want you to be happy, though?"

Brody smiled sadly and kissed her forehead. "I am happy, Abby. Just not on Christmas."


	6. Chapter 6

Abby slowly propped herself up against the pillows on Brody's bed and watched as he came out of the bathroom.

"Are you sure you have to go?"

Brody laughed and nodded, grabbing his shirt from the edge of the bed and pulling it over his head. "Abby, as much as I would love to stay in bed with you all day, I'm pretty sure the department would frown on me skipping a shift just because my girlfriend asked me to."

Abby sighed. "I suppose so. You're off at two, right?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I'll be at my parents' place most of the day. You could, uh, make it over in plenty of time for dinner. We'd have already finished most of the presents and the hubbub, but Mom's prime rib is amazing and…"

"Abby…" Brody shook his head as he sat down on the side of the bed. "I'm not asking you to give up Christmas trees or stockings by the fire or any of your Christmas traditions. Those are important to you, I get that. But I am asking you to not try to make me be a part of them, because that's something I can't do. Not right now. Okay?"

"Alright," Abby agreed reluctantly. "Can I still come over later tonight?"

"Of course."

"What are you going to do until then?"

Brody shrugged. "I don't know, probably what I always do…grab a movie, eat some Chinese food. I'll probably have to call my brother at some point and try to convince him I'm okay."

"Your brother?"

"He moved back to the city a few years ago, and ever since then, he's been trying to get me to come spend Christmas with him and his family. I keep saying no, but he keeps asking. He thinks just because I don't celebrate Christmas, I haven't dealt with what happened."

"Is he right?"

Brody sighed and shook his head. "I don't know, maybe. It's different for Paul, though…he wasn't there that night, he was at his dad's. He didn't have to sit at the hospital, see her lying there with all those tubes and monitors everywhere, see our baby brother in the NICU…none of that is as real for him as it is for me. To him, Joseph is still just a name on a stone…he never met him, he never saw his little arms waving, his eyes…his dad was in Seattle, and everyone here was in such a daze, I don't even think Paul knew Mom had died until a day or two later."

Abby scooted closer to Brody and rested her hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure he means well."

Brody nodded. "It's not like we don't get along. We see each other a couple times a year…I watch his kids from time to time when he and his wife go out of town. It's just this time of year…it's different for me than it is for him." Brody sighed and glanced at the clock by the bed. "I really have to get going. I'm going to be late for my shift."

Abby nodded as Brody stood up and turned back to face her.

"Have a good time with your family," he said, hesitating for a moment before leaning over and kissing her softly. "I love you."

Abby smiled nervously like she always did, glancing down at her hands as Brody waited for a moment before he let out a sigh so softly she almost couldn't hear it and turned to leave. Abby almost opened her mouth to stop him, but found herself once again without words as he slipped out the door.

* * *

><p>Abby smiled as she opened the door to her parents' house and was instantly met with the unmistakeable smells of cinnamon rolls and Christmas trees. The combination was burned into her memory as the first indicator of Christmas morning in the Kowalski house. Shutting the door and tiptoeing into the house, she hesitated for a moment at the though, wondering briefly what sort of smells were burned into Brody's Christmas memories. Not good ones, she supposed.<p>

Setting her stack of presents down near the tree, she walked into the kitchen and grinned when she saw her mother at the stove and Donnie leaning against the counter by the sink.

"Merry Christmas."

Sheila glanced up and frowned as she set her mixing spoon down on the counter and put her hand on her hip.

Donnie shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest as he looked at his sister. "Oh, so you've decided to join us after all? What happened, couldn't get a better offer?"

Abby frowned in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"I believe your brother is referring to last night," Sheila said, slowly picking up her spoon and turning her attention to her mixing bowl. "You missed midnight Mass, Abby."

"Not to mention baking cookies with the kids, Christmas Eve dinner and opening the traditional one present before we go to bed," Donnie added. "But apparently turning your back on your family is okay these days. I guess it's kind of your thing, really."

"Donald!" Sheila scolded gently, shaking her head at him before turning back to Abby. "Abby, we're concerned. You disappear without warning on a holiday you love, you don't…"

"I didn't disappear, Mom," Abby interrupted. "I told you all I wouldn't be able to make it."

Donnie scoffed. "A text message to Richie at eight o'clock doesn't count as letting us know, Abby. Where the hell were you?"

"I had something I had to do," Abby said.

"Like what?"

Abby hesitated for a split second. "That's none of your business, Donnie."

"Like hell it isn't. We're…"

"Donnie," Sheila interrupted quickly, her voice calm but firm. "Why don't you go upstairs and see if your brothers and the kids are awake yet?"

"But I…"

"Donald…"

Donnie threw up his hands in defeat. "I'm going, I'm going."

Sheila sighed as Donnie walked out of the room, waiting until she heard his footsteps on the stairs before turning to Abby. "Are you alright?"

Abby sighed. "I'm fine, Mom. Really."

"Were you working?"

"No."

Sheila shook her head and rested her hands on the counter, staring at Abby intently. "In thirty-three years, you've only missed one Christmas Eve, Abby. Only one, when you were working."

Abby hesitated for a moment. She wasn't sure why she was so reluctant to share what she'd been doing the night before. It certainly wasn't that she doubted her mother would understand her actions - in fact, she was sure if anyone would understand, it was her mother. Still, she didn't feel as though it were her story to share, at least not yet.

Sheila watched as Abby struggled to come up with a response, noticing for the first time how utterly exhausted her daughter looked. "Did you get any sleep last night?"

Abby shrugged. "A few hours."

Sheila nodded as she turned around and pulled a mug off the shelf before grabbing the full coffee pot and filling the mug. Turning around, she slid the mug across the counter to Abby. "Merry Christmas, sweetheart."


	7. Chapter 7

Abby sighed heavily as she rubbed the back of her neck and leaned back against the couch in her parents' living room later that morning. Across the room, her nieces and nephews were busy tearing into their presents, laughing and shrieking with joy as wrapping paper went flying across the room. Any other year, Abby would have been over there with them, on her hands and knees on the floor, enjoying the moment with the children. This year, though, she left that to her brothers and curled up on the couch.

She couldn't quite put her finger on what it was that was bothering her that morning. Despite everything that had happened the night before, she didn't think it was sadness or grief. She knew she was depressed, angry or even lonely, either. She just felt…off, as though there were some sort of void in her celebration that she couldn't fill with the children's smiles or her mother's cooking. Whatever it was, it didn't seem to fit into the neat categories of the emotions she was used to feeling.

"Aunt Abby, Aunt Abby! Look what Santa brought!"

Abby glanced up and half-smiled as she nodded at her oldest niece, who had rushed across the room with a sparkly pink skirt in her hands and was now twirling it in front of her. "It's great, Ellen. Really pretty."

Ellen frowned for a second before shrugging and hurrying back to her presents.

"Careful there, Abby. Try not to sound _too_ excited for the kid, okay?"

Abby rolled her eyes and glared at Richie as he flopped down next to her on the couch.

"What do you want, Richie?"

"What do I want? Come on, Abby, it's Christmas. You could at least try to pretend that you're happy."

"I am happy," Abby insisted.

Richie frowned skeptically at his sister but simply shook his head and took a swig out of the beer bottle in his hand. "Whatever you say, little miss sunshine. How's Brody?"

Abby narrowed her eyes as she stared at Richie. "Why do you ask?"

Richie shrugged. "Just curious. You were with him last night, weren't you?"

"How did you…?"

"Well, you obviously weren't working or you would have just called Mom and told her that. So where else would you have been?"

Abby shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for him to continue.

"So what is this? One night with Mr. 'I-hate-Christmas' and your Christmas spirit is dead?"

"I'm fine, Richie."

Richie scoffed. "Fine? Abby, you barely touched your breakfast, you're practically ignoring the kids, you're obviously distracted…it's pretty clear to everyone that you'd rather be somewhere other than here."

"That's not true."

"I'm just wondering what exactly he could have done that was this bad," Richie continued. "Did he yell at you? Tell you Santa Clause doesn't exist?"

Richie's laugh died on his lips as he caught the death glare that Abby was shooting him.

"Shit…was it really that bad? He didn't hurt you, did he? Because I swear to God, I don't care if he is my partner, I'll…"

"Richie, stop it," Abby interrupted angrily. "Why can't you just leave it alone? So what if he doesn't like Christmas?"

"You're okay with a guy who doesn't like Christmas?" Richie asked skeptically. "What happened to the whole 'nobody hates Christmas' thing?"

"Brody doesn't hate Christmas," Abby insisted. "And you shouldn't be so hard on him, he's got his reasons for the way he acts. Not everyone's as lucky as we are, Richie."

"What are you talking about? Did he tell you why he doesn't do Christmas?"

"So what if he did?"

"Well, you need to tell me. I've been trying to figure that mystery out since I met the guy."

"That's personal, Richie. Whatever John might have told me, it's between us, and it's none of your business."

"Why would he tell you and not me?" Richie asked in confusion. "I'm his partner."

"I'm his girlfriend."

Richie frowned. "I think that's the first time I've heard you refer to yourself that way."

"So what?"

"Nothing…it's just weird. I mean, the two of you have been a couple for a while now, but still…"

"Yeah, well, you'd better get used to it."

"Oh really?" Richie smirked as he realized that Abby had probably spoken without even realizing what she was saying. "You think this is going to stick?"

Abby shrugged coyly. "It might."

"What might what?"

"Nothing," Abby said quickly, glancing up just as Steve squeezed himself in between her and Richie and leaned back against the couch.

"Uh huh," Steve said skeptically. "So, Rich, did you force it out of her?"

"Force what out of me?"

"Whatever it is that's bugging you," Steve said. "Richie bet Donnie fifty bucks that he could get it out of you."

"You did _what_?" Abby glared across Steve at her brother.

"I, uh, I think I better go see if Mom needs help with anything in the kitchen," Richie muttered, quickly jumping up from the couch.

"Did they really do that?" Abby asked as Richie left the room.

"Of course they did."

"And so what's this? You sneaking in at the end to win the cash?"

Steve shook his head. "I don't bet on things like that, Abby. It's much more fun to stay out of it and watch you get mad at them when I spill the beans."

"You're all jerks, you know that?"

"Yup."

"Okay then." Abby nodded and let a comfortable silence fall over them as they sat side-by-side watching the kids play under the tree across the room. After a few minutes, Abby hesitantly broke the silence. "Hey Steve?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think it would still be Christmas if we didn't have a tree?"

Steve frowned and stared at his sister. "Um…I guess so, yeah."

"What about without presents?"

"I suppose so. I mean, it would still be December 25th, right? That's Christmas, whether you want all the traditional trappings or not."

"Right." Abby nodded slowly. "But if we didn't have that stuff, why is it Christmas?"

Steve shrugged. "I don't know. I think even if we didn't have the decorations or whatever, Christmas is Christmas because the family is all together."

Abby shook her head. "If that were true, it would be Christmas every other week around this house, Steve."

"I don't think so. It's different on Christmas."

"Yeah, because of the tree and the presents and the decorations and all those trappings you just said we didn't need for it to be Christmas."

"Maybe so," Steve said thoughtfully. "But then again, maybe those things are just there to make us think about what we're doing."

"What do you mean?"

"I think that's the difference with Christmas…we think about being together. It's why people who don't live near their family get depressed at Christmas. Yeah, they're away all year long, but you just think about it more this time of year. Same thing with us. Yeah, we're together a lot during the year, but we really think about it on Christmas. That's what makes it different. I mean, come on. When we're huddled around the TV watching a Bears game, you're not exactly thinking about how great it is to have all the family together."

"I guess you have a point."

"Of course I have a point. I always have a point."

"Don't let it go to your head." Abby smacked him playfully in the shoulder.

Steve laughed and ducked away from her hand. "So what's this all about anyway? You're depressed because you couldn't figure out the meaning of Christmas?"

"I'm not depressed," Abby insisted. "I've just been doing some thinking, that's all."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Because if this is about a guy and you need a certain someone beaten up…"

"Hey, what happened to the Christmas spirit?"

Steve shrugged. "I'm offering to help someone I love. What's more Christmasy than that?"

"Okay, not only is it entirely not necessary, there is nothing Christmasy about you wanting to beat up the guy that I…" Abby's voice trailed off and her eyes grew wide as the realization of what she had been about to say hit her. "Oh my God."

"What?" Steve asked in confusion.

"Oh my God, that's what this is," Abby muttered as she practically jumped off the couch and glanced around the room. "I have to go."

"Go? Now?"

"I'll try to be back later," Abby said, already halfway toward the door as Steve watched her brush past their father.

"Where's she going?" Don asked.

"I have no idea," Steve said.

"What did you say to her?" Sheila asked as she walked into the room just in time to see Abby slam the front door behind her.

"I didn't say or do anything," Steve said defensively. "We were just talking about Christmas and then all of a sudden she got this deer-in-the-headlights look and took off. I swear, it wasn't me!"


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** Alright, who thought I'd fallen off the face of the planet? Yeah, I kind of did too...but I've crawled my way back! I won't bore you with the details, just know that I'm planning to buckle down and work my way through all my in progress stories, starting with the most recent and working my way back until they are all completed. So, if you all see me start anything new (other than a random one-shot here and there), feel free to throw things at me!

As far as this story is concerned, I think there are probably two, possibly three, chapters remaining in my originally planned storyline. I hope you enjoy this one!

* * *

><p>Abby impatiently tapped her fingers on the steering wheel as she slowly inched forward in the snarled highway traffic entering downtown Chicago.<p>

"Oh for Christ's sake," she muttered under her breath. "Why they hell aren't all these people at home with their families? Don't they know it's Christmas?"

Glancing at the clock, she gritted her teeth and shook her head. It had been nearly an hour since she'd left her parents' house and she was barely halfway to her destination. It was times like these she wished it wasn't against regulations to use her lights and siren when she off duty. At this rate, it would be another hour before she got anywhere near where she needed to be.

"So much for spontaneity," she sighed, clicking through her radio presets as traffic ground to a dead stop again. She was almost relieved when her cell phone started ringing - at least it was something to do.

"Kowalski."

"Abby, it's Lina. Where are you?"

Abby frowned at the question. "Um…in my car. Why?"

"Pull over."

"Lina, you're scaring me."

Abby heard Lina sigh on the other end of the line. "Abby, just pull the car over. Please?"

Abby shrugged and pulled out of her lane into the shoulder, putting the car in park and leaning back in her seat. "Well, it's not like I'm going anywhere in this traffic anyhow. Now what's going on?"

"You're pulled over?"

"Oh for God's sake, Lina, would you just spit it out? You're acting like someone died." Abby paused, suddenly feeling like someone has sucked the air out of the car when Lina didn't immediately contradict her. "Oh God…Lina?"

"No one's died, Abby…"

"I sense a 'but' coming," Abby said hesitantly.

Lina sighed audibly. "There's been an accident."

"Oh God," Abby gasped. "Brody."

"How did you…?"

"Because my father and my brothers are all sitting my parents' living room as we speak," Abby snapped. "You wouldn't be dragging this out if it were anyone else. What happened? Is he alright?"

"I don't know," Lina admitted. "I'm on my way there right now, but traffic's a nightmare. All dispatch could say is that there was an officer-involved traffic collision at exit 27 on the Kennedy Expressway. Brody and Rodriguez were pursuing a suspect."

"What aren't you saying?" Abby asked anxiously. "And don't even try bullshitting me, Lina, I can hear it in your voice. You wouldn't sound this worried if there weren't something else."

Even over the phone, Abby could almost hear the internal debate Lina was having with herself.

"Lina…"

"They called for a helicopter evac, Abby."

Abby's jaw dropped slightly as she leaned back against the seat and shivered at the chill that flooded over her.

"Abby, it might be nothing. We don't know who it was called for, just that…"

Shaking her head, Abby barly heard what Lina was saying as she heard the unmistakable whir of a helicopter pass just above her car. Glancing out her window, she felt her heart skip a beat when she realized where she was. _Exit 26_, the sign ahead read, almost mocking her with how close and yet how far away she really was.

"Screw it," she muttered, flipping her phone closed and tossing it in her pocket before pulling on her coat and pushing open her car door, grimacing only slightly at the blast of cold air and rain that hit her as she stepped outside and took off running.

* * *

><p>"Ma'am, I'm sorry, you can't come under that tape!"<p>

Abby groaned as a young officer rushed towards her as she finally reached the edge of the scene almost twenty minutes later. Gasping for breath, she shook her head and tried to push past him.

"Ma'am, you _can't_ come in here," the officer repeated gruffly, putting his hands on Abby's shoulders and pushing her back slightly.

Abby felt a surge of anger and urgency as she shook his hands off of her. "Don't you dare touch me," she snapped, reaching into her coat and pulling out her badge. "Now I suggest you back the hell off unless you want me to launch an IA investigation that'll still be haunting you when your grandkids are sworn onto the force."

"I…" the officer began, not getting to finish as Abby brushed past him and surveyed the scene in front of her.

The whole thing looked like something out of a horrible nightmare - metal crumpled on the side of the road, paramedics rushing back and forth from the cars to waiting ambulances, the smell of gasoline and burning rubber hanging heavy in the wet air.

"Oh please, God, let him be okay," Abby whispered pleadingly. As she frantically scanned the crowds of people gathered near the ambulances, the truth of her situation hit her like a ton bricks. If her prayer wasn't answered, if he wasn't alright - _this_ would be her Christmas memory. She hadn't understood it the night before, or even this morning, but now it couldn't be clearer. If Brody didn't make it, her Christmas memories wouldn't be filled with the scent of fir trees and her mom's pecan pies - they'd be filled with gasoline and burning rubber, the feel of the cold rain seeping into her bones, the panic churning in her stomach.

And, like Brody, she wasn't sure she could celebrate with memories like that seared into her mind.

"Abby!"

Turning around, Abby spotted Lina hurrying toward her, an umbrella in one hand and her notebook in the other.

"Abby, how the hell did you get here so fast? Traffic's a disaster out there!"

Abby shrugged. "I was only one exit away."

Frowning, Lina quickly took in Abby's rain-soaked appearance. "What did you do, run here?" Arching her eyebrows in disbelief, Lina's jaw fell slightly open when Abby didn't respond. "Holy shit, Abby, did you _run_ here? In this weather?"

"It wasn't that far."

"It's at least a mile," Lina protested, glancing back down at Abby's feet. "And you're wearing _heels_."

"Where is he, Lina?" Abby asked, turning back to the chaotic scene behind them. "Is he okay?"

"He's not here, Abby."

"What do you mean, he's not here?" Abby asked in disbelief. "You told me he was here. I can see Rodriguez over there. Where the hell is Brody?"

"One of the paramedics said they took him to Cook County," Lina said gently. "Abby, come on, let's get you some dry clothes."

"No." Abby shook her head and shook Lina's hand from her arm. "What's his condition? Is he okay?"

"I don't know."

Abby nodded and glanced around, her gaze settling on the paramedics climbing into an ambulance a few feet away.

"Abby?" Lina called out in confusion as Abby started walking away.

"Wait!" Abby called out, quickening her pace as she approached the ambulance, completely ignoring Lina behind her. "Where are you headed?"

"Cook County," one of the paramedics said, slamming the back door front and moving around the side of the ambulance.

"Got room for one more?"

The paramedic frowned and looked Abby up and down skeptically. "Were you in the crash?"

"No."

"Look lady, it's against regs to have…"

"Screw the regs," Abby interjected. "They took my boyfriend to County, I have to get there, I…"

"You'd better just take her." Abby could have cried in relief when she heard Lina's voice from behind her. "You can tell your boss you were doing a favor for CPD."

The paramedic hesitated for a moment, glancing back and forth between Lina's badge and Abby. "Alright," he said, pulling open the passenger side door. "Get in, we've got to get a move on it."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Okay, this chapter is a little short, but it gets us through to the next chapter, which will probably be the last one (and will be much longer, I promise!). Thank you all for sticking with this story and still reviewing even with all the delays!

* * *

><p>"Brody. B-r-o-d-y."<p>

The nurse behind the bulletproof partition shook her head and glanced up over the rim of her glasses. "Lady, you can spell it as many times as you want to, it's not going to make a difference. You cannot come into the trauma bay. Take a seat, someone will come find you when they can."

"But…"

"Look around," the nurse interrupted, gesturing to the crowded waiting room. "It's barely noon and we've seen almost five hundred patients today. Waiting isn't going to kill you, so take a seat and let the doctors do their work."

"Can't you just tell me if he's badly hurt?" Abby pleaded.

The nurse sighed and nodded, flipping through a few screens on the computer in front of her. "You said Brody?"

"Yes."

"They've got him in the blue zone."

"Blue? Is that bad?" Abby asked anxiously.

"We've got green, blue and red," the nurse explained. "Red's critical, green's treat-and-street, blue's in the middle. Now will you please take a seat?"

* * *

><p>Abby felt as though she might jump out of her skin as she sat on the edge of a chair near the front of the waiting room, her eyes periodically darting around the room while her hands were folded in front of her in prayer. It had been almost an hour since the nurse had sent her away from the main ER, and she'd sent up every sort of prayer she could think of from her Catholic school days.<p>

Shivering, she looked down at her hands, noticing for the first time that they were a slight shade of blue. She wasn't sure if she was shaking more from nervousness or from the fact that she'd been sitting there in her rain-soaked clothes, but she figured the reason didn't matter, because she wasn't moving until she knew that Brody was alright.

Feeling a blanket slipped around her shoulders, she glanced to her side and offered a grateful half-smile as Lina sat down down next to her and forced a cup of coffee into her hands.

"Drink it," she insisted. "You look like death warmed over, you're starting to scare the patients."

Abby nodded silently, not having the energy to argue, and took a few small sips of the warm liquid. "They won't tell me anything," she said in a small voice. "He…he has to be okay."

Lina sighed and bit her lower lip as she placed a hand on Abby's forearm. "I know."

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, Lina glanced up as the doors to the waiting room opened. Grinning, she nudged Abby with her elbow.<p>

"Abby. Look."

Hesitantly looking up, Abby was on her feet almost immediately at the sight of the man walking toward her. "Brody," she whispered tearfully, shaking her head in disbelief. A second later and she was in his arms, her tears flowing as she kissed him.

"Hey," he whispered gently. "Don't cry."

"I thought you were dead," Abby said in shock, running her fingers gently over a stitched-up cut on his cheek. "I thought…"

"You can't get rid of me that easy," Brody assured her. "I'm fine."

"You're sure?" Abby questioned, still not quite believing him as she took a step back and looked him up and down, taking in the cuts and bruises on his face, the sling his arm was resting in, the dried blood on his uniform shirt.

"Abby, they wouldn't have let me go if I wasn't going to be okay," Brody reassured her, now taking a hard look at her. "Why are your clothes all wet? You must be freezing, it's twenty degrees outside."

"It's a long story. It's not important."

"I think it is," Lina interrupted from behind. "Your genius girlfriend here couldn't get to the crash scene fast enough, so she got out of her car and ran at least a mile to get to you. In the rain. In _heels_. And then she refused to leave here to get dry clothes until she knew you were alright."

"Abby…"

"Don't you dare criticize me for that," Abby warned tearfully. "I've been in a lot of bad situations in my career, John Brody, and I have never been so scared as you made me this afternoon. So don't you dare try to tell me it wasn't rational, or smart, or…"

"I was just going to say, that's very sweet."

"Liar."

Lina groaned slightly as Brody kissed Abby's forehead and laughed. "Alright, I don't want to interrupt this Kodak moment, but what do you say we get the two of you home? You look like you could use some rest, Brody, and I'm guessing if we don't get you out of those wet clothes soon, Abby, I'm going to have an ice block for a partner tomorrow."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Last chapter! Thank you all for sticking with this story. I hope you all enjoy the final chapter! I will be continuing to write for this show, even if it is no longer on the air. I can't say for certain when my next story will be up, but I have a couple of ideas that I'm playing around with right now. In the meantime, please enjoy this last chapter of The Magic of Christmas!

* * *

><p>"Are you…"<p>

"Abby, I swear if you ask me one more time if I'm alright…"

Abby frowned as she stepped out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her body and a hand on her hip as she stared at the bed where Brody was propped up on several pillows and resting. "Well, excuse me for caring."

Brody sighed and held out his good hand to her. "Come on, Abby, you know I didn't mean it like that. I know you're worried, and I know you were scared, but I promise, I'm _fine_."

Abby hesitated as she took his hand and sat down on the side of the bed. "I know that, I do…it's just, that crash site, with the patrol car all smashed up and the smell…oh God, that awful smell of gasoline and…"

"Hey," Brody said gently, squeezing her hand. "I know it was bad. But it all worked out, right? No one died today."

Abby nodded and took a shaky breath, shifting her weight slightly to lie down and curl up next to Brody. "But you could have."

"But I didn't." Brody kissed her forehead and let her rest silently against his chest for a few minutes. "Hey Abs?"

"Yeah?"

"How did you get there so fast?"

"Get where?"

"The crash site. I wasn't at the hospital that long, if you were at the crash and then came there…there's no way you could have gotten there from your parents' place that quickly."

Abby hesitated for a moment before nodding. "I was kind of already on my way in your direction."

"Why?" Brody asked in surprise. "What happened to your big Christmas with your family? Did something happen?"

"No, it's not that, Christmas was fine, it's just…I kind of needed to talk to you."

"About what?"

Abby sighed and pushed herself up off the bed, turning so that she was again sitting on the side of the bed and facing him. "I don't care."

"You don't care," Brody repeated in confusion. "About what you were coming to talk to me about?"

Abby shook her head. "No. That's what I was coming to talk about. I don't care, Brody. The lights, the tree, the Christmas carols…they're nice, they're fun…but I don't care about them. I don't care if I never have another Christmas cookie, or sing another Christmas carol, or decorate a Christmas tree. None of it matters, not really."

"Abby, I know it matters to you."

"No, it doesn't," Abby insisted. "I don't need all of that, Brody."

"What do you need?"

Abby took a deep breath. "You. I need you, John."

"Abby…"

Abby smiled nervously as Brody reached out and caressed her cheek with his hand. "I love you, John. And I'm not just saying that because of the crash, because I was on my way to tell you that when Lina called me about the crash. But I think…I get it, Brody. If things had been different, if you hadn't been okay…that would have been my Christmas memory. So if you can't do Christmas, fine…I don't care if we lock the door and stay in bed all day every December 25th, as long as we're together."

Brody grinned. "Say the first part again."

"I love you," Abby repeated softly, leaning forward and kissing him gently.

"I thought that's what you said." Abby giggled as Brody pulled her closer to his body. "I like the sound of that. But Abby, I can't ask you to give up Christmas."

"Then it's a good thing you didn't ask me to do it," Abby said. "I meant what I said, Brody. That accident really got me thinking, and none of it matters if I'm not with you. So you're not asking me to give up anything."

"Well, maybe you're not the only one who's been thinking, Abs. Maybe I've been in mourning long enough…maybe it's time to start living again."

Abby glanced at the clock across the room. "It's only five o'clock. If you're ready for Christmas, Mom doesn't serve dinner for another half an hour."

Brody smiled and shook his head. "I actually had something a little different in mind. If you'd rather go to your parents', that's okay, but…well, I was kind of hoping you'd come with me."

"I've already seen my family today," Abby said. "Right now, wherever you're going, that's where I want to be."

* * *

><p>Abby reached over and squeezed Brody's hand gently as she pulled up next to the curb and put the car in park. "You ready?"<p>

Brody shook his head. "Probably not. But I have to try, right? It's just dinner."

Abby smiled reassuringly. "We can leave whenever you want."

"Okay." Brody sighed and reached for the door handle. "Let's go."

Abby held tightly to his good arm as they made their way up the front walk. The outside of the house was decorated simply, just a few strings of lights hung along the edges of the roof and a small wreath on the front door. She could see the tree sparkling in the front window, though, and she wondered if he was really ready to face that.

She squeezed his hand again and leaned up against his shoulder for just a moment as he rang the doorbell and stepped back to wait. They could both hear a commotion on the other side of the door, as though a fight had broken out just behind it. A minute later, the front door quickly swung open and Abby and Brody looked down to see a little girl of about seven years standing triumphantly in front of two younger boys.

"Uncle John!" she shrieked excitedly when she saw Brody, practically throwing herself around his legs, the two boys scrambling up behind her.

Brody laughed nervously, reaching down and tousling her hair. "Hi Molly."

"Molly Elizabeth Callahan, how many times do I have to tell you not to open the door without…"

Molly turned her head nervously as a tall, slender redhead came into the entry way, her voice trailing off when she caught sight of the man in her doorway.

"Hi Vickie," Brody said quietly, holding Abby's hand tightly as he took a deep breath. "Merry Christmas."

Vickie stared at him for a moment, as though not quite reconciling the man she knew with the man standing in front of her, before she smiled and leaned across her daughter to hug him. "Merry Christmas, John."

"Hey, what is everyone doing out here? Dinner's almost ready and no one's at the table yet!"

"Paul…" Vickie said gently, stepping back as her husband walked into the entryway.

"What, is there some big surprise or something?" Paul's grin faded as he saw Brody standing in front of him. "John?"

"Hey Paul."

"What are you doing here?"

Brody hesitated, glancing over at Abby, who nodded in encouragement. "I, uh…I guess I was just wondering if, um, if that dinner invitation you're always bugging me about still stands."

Paul grinned again and nodded. "You don't even have to ask, John." Shaking his head as he stepped forward, he wrapped an arm around John and clapped him on the back. "Merry Christmas, little brother."

* * *

><p>Abby could still feel the tension radiating off his body as she curled up next to him in his bed that night. "Hey," she whispered softly, running a hand across his bare chest. "It wasn't completely awful, was it?"<p>

Brody shook his head and sighed. "No," he admitted. "Parts of it were actually kind of nice."

"Your niece and nephews seemed pretty excited to see you."

Brody smiled. "They're good kids. The boys kind of remind me of me a little bit. You know…before everything that happened."

Abby nodded silently, her head resting on his chest.

"You know what I kept thinking about tonight?"

Abby shook her head and glanced up at him questioningly. "What?"

"How much my mom would have loved it…what it would have been like with her there."

"Oh John," Abby sighed sympathetically.

"I thought it would hurt more, if I let myself think about that," Brody said. "But I just felt…I don't know, a little sad, I guess. It didn't hurt like it used to."

"That's a good thing, right?"

"I think so," Brody agreed, closing his eyes for a moment. "Mom would have loved tonight. She would have adored those kids. She would have been in her element as a grandmother, I think. Paul and Vickie wouldn't know what hit 'em, Mom would have doted on her grandkids. And Joey…he would have been just out of college, figuring out his first job. If he was anything like me and Paul, he would have come home every couple of months with some new girl on his arm…"

"Excuse me?" Abby arched an eyebrow as she stared at him skeptically.

"When I was younger," Brody said defensively. "If he was like me when I was younger. Eventually I saw the light and found the right girl…the _only_ girl for me."

"Nice save."

Brody smirked as he kissed Abby's hair. "And Mom would have hated every one of those girls I paraded in, but she would have loved you, Abby."

"Why?"

"Because my mom was a very perceptive lady," Brody said. "It wouldn't have taken her five seconds to see that I didn't love any of those other girls."

"And what about me?"

"She would have known right away that I was in love with you, and that would have been enough," Brody said. "She would have loved you too."

"And if she didn't?"

Brody frowned for a moment. "Well…I guess if she didn't like you, we'd have just had to pop out a grandkid or two pretty quickly to soften her up."

Abby giggled and shook her head. "You say that like you can just pick them up at the store."

"Sure, aisle seven. Right next to the white picket fences and the dog food."

Abby laughed, but sat up just a bit to stare at him.

"What?" he asked in concern.

"Do you want kids?"

Brody hesitated for a moment. He was sure this was one of those trick questions that really only had one satisfactory answer. "Someday. If it's in the cards…it's not a deal-breaker for me, but I guess…yeah, I guess I'd like to have a couple kids. Do you want kids?"

Abby nodded. "I think so. Someday. Just one, though. Maybe two. Definitely no more than two."

"Well, that's too bad."

"Why?" Abby asked, her brow furrowing slightly in confusion.

"I was kind of hoping we'd have enough to start our own Little League team." Brody watched as Abby's face contorted in surprise as she processed the number that would require. He managed to keep a straight face for at least a few seconds before he burst out laughing at the expression on her face.

"That is _not_ funny," Abby pouted, smacking his good arm. "You may have a broken arm, but don't think I'm above punching you in the other one."

Brody shook his head and laughed as he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back against his body. "Come here," he muttered, leaning over and kissing her softly. "We'll have plenty of time to talk about kids some other night."

"Mmm…" Abby sighed in agreement as she leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I love you."

Brody grinned. "I love you too. Merry Christmas, Abby."


End file.
